Hey everyone!
So I have a few minutes left on the computer here at the library. Sorry no pictures today...unless I get creative...which I may. No holding your breath though!
So we had Thanksgiving...that was a good we stayed at home this year. There was drama mostly on my end about that holiday but I think I've moved on. Just rough dealing with family and the intricacies of it all and invites versus no invites and trying to figure out just what the hell is going on and what you did or just what the hell is wrong with you or your family. REJECTIONS was the biggest issue and that's something I need to deal with. But I think at this point I've dealt with it and am working on moving on and being OK with where things are and my part in it or the lack of my part in it. You can only do so much before you become someones doormat and I am NOT doormat. And that is taking some learning...I'm 30+ and just now learning that...what a journey and I'm pretty sure I'm not even a quarter of the way through it.
On the upside I went to a Thanksgiving get together and I got to see my handsome nephew and I made sure to tell him his Auntie loved him to the moon and back and that someday when his mom and dad said he was old enough to stay with me that I would come get him. His daddy was shaking his head yes while Samuel was emphatically saying no...that is until I said well the boys would be there. I think he pondered this for awhile and then agreed that would be alright! Love that boy and miss him so much! How do people deal with family living so far away...and I get that they are only 6 hours away but it really might as well be across the pond distance wise. I'm guessing it doesn't get easier but I just HATE the fact that he's growing up and doesn't really know him nor I know him well...I guess I just make up for it when I get that time with him.
We are now into December and I am working super hard at having a better holiday spirit this year. Something has to change and it has to be with me...I don't see anything or anyone else changing it...it's my choice to change. So in that vein we have started putting the tree and several Christmas decorations up BEFORE the 22nd or 23rd...and yes I have done that and then took it ALL down (except lights on the house) the day after Christmas...by that time I'm DONE! With it all I'm just done. I am working at finding my Christmas spirit...it's like that song that Cindy Loo Who sings (spelling?) from the movie 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas-Jim Carey version) "Where are you Christmas" that has been my song since as long as I can remember. I could seriously skip from Halloween and go straight to January. Even then I could skip that and go to February...that's a generally safe month.
So with that being said I think I'm well on my way and things are going OK...still going crazy dealing with the kids and that stupid tree and between them and the dang dogs touching the tree and ornaments and the dog chewing or wrestling (that could go for boys too) under the tree. I've only threatened at least once a day that I will take the tree down until next year...so I'm down 2 less times than normal...PROGRESS people!
Well I have hit my time limit and need to get a few things done and head out from the library...the glamours life of being mom is screaming at me!
So I have a few minutes left on the computer here at the library. Sorry no pictures today...unless I get creative...which I may. No holding your breath though!
So we had Thanksgiving...that was a good we stayed at home this year. There was drama mostly on my end about that holiday but I think I've moved on. Just rough dealing with family and the intricacies of it all and invites versus no invites and trying to figure out just what the hell is going on and what you did or just what the hell is wrong with you or your family. REJECTIONS was the biggest issue and that's something I need to deal with. But I think at this point I've dealt with it and am working on moving on and being OK with where things are and my part in it or the lack of my part in it. You can only do so much before you become someones doormat and I am NOT doormat. And that is taking some learning...I'm 30+ and just now learning that...what a journey and I'm pretty sure I'm not even a quarter of the way through it.
On the upside I went to a Thanksgiving get together and I got to see my handsome nephew and I made sure to tell him his Auntie loved him to the moon and back and that someday when his mom and dad said he was old enough to stay with me that I would come get him. His daddy was shaking his head yes while Samuel was emphatically saying no...that is until I said well the boys would be there. I think he pondered this for awhile and then agreed that would be alright! Love that boy and miss him so much! How do people deal with family living so far away...and I get that they are only 6 hours away but it really might as well be across the pond distance wise. I'm guessing it doesn't get easier but I just HATE the fact that he's growing up and doesn't really know him nor I know him well...I guess I just make up for it when I get that time with him.
We are now into December and I am working super hard at having a better holiday spirit this year. Something has to change and it has to be with me...I don't see anything or anyone else changing it...it's my choice to change. So in that vein we have started putting the tree and several Christmas decorations up BEFORE the 22nd or 23rd...and yes I have done that and then took it ALL down (except lights on the house) the day after Christmas...by that time I'm DONE! With it all I'm just done. I am working at finding my Christmas spirit...it's like that song that Cindy Loo Who sings (spelling?) from the movie 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas-Jim Carey version) "Where are you Christmas" that has been my song since as long as I can remember. I could seriously skip from Halloween and go straight to January. Even then I could skip that and go to February...that's a generally safe month.
So with that being said I think I'm well on my way and things are going OK...still going crazy dealing with the kids and that stupid tree and between them and the dang dogs touching the tree and ornaments and the dog chewing or wrestling (that could go for boys too) under the tree. I've only threatened at least once a day that I will take the tree down until next year...so I'm down 2 less times than normal...PROGRESS people!
Well I have hit my time limit and need to get a few things done and head out from the library...the glamours life of being mom is screaming at me!
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