Too much

Today was ok but by the end of the day I was, still am a hot mess. I can't get myself under control. There are not enough hours in the day to get jack nuttin' done and not enough money to go around! My boys should be pulling their weight, they arent. How does everyone manage? This is insane!! I don't think I have ever felt this kind of feeling. I can't even put into words what I am thinking. I just know I may explode soon. 

Sunday's

Ya'll...
Sundays are NOT for the weak! I take my boys to church. It's me against 4, well I take that back, Frank helps me get them out the door. It makes me weary. When will Sunday's stop feeling like they come from the pits of Hell? I want to go and be fed at church. Right now I feel like I'm herding cats, stray cats people!

This picture you see here, that's real life on Sunday for me. Now it may not always be this kid, I have 3 others. I think they tag team, really I do! This right here though, was a Sunday to top any Sunday I can remember in awhile. Truly awful. #reallife

It's brutal and it hurts me deeply. 

I can tell you right now, I'm already dreading next Sunday, well not next Sunday, but the one after that. I have a feeling this is my life for awhile. I already have a knot in my stomach about this. About Wednesday, I'll be gearing the kids up for it...which means a fight ensues with the one you see in this picture. Sigh...

Morning

Hello....my name is Anita and I feel like I'm going through puberty right now.  Also,  loving these hot flashed, they are something else. Doesn't matter how cold of a shower I take, nothing helps. Possibly less caffeine might BUT it's  also the first week back to school and full time work for me. Tea is not touching the exhaustion I'm feeling by the time the first half of my day is over. I do realize I go through this EVERY fall, which means back to my vitimin routine. 
OK well just a quick post about my zits and sweaty face, off to scarf breakfast and get to work.

1st Day of School 2019

OK on the note of the last blog I posted...Here I am folks!

Today was the first day of school for my kids. A lot has changed since 2017.  Some highs and lows and trying to find the silver lining in them all.  It was a great summer, the kids are getting bigger and were are traveling farther.  As always, school rears it's head and says it's time to go back, so go back we go!  Can't really say I'm all that sorry to see it here, I need that routine back. I never knew I was a gal that needed that, but maybe it's having kids that makes me need it. Chaos for 2 1/2 months is plenty for most.

So this year finds this guy in 10th grade, this is how he woke up and I was pretty sure this was the only picture I was going to get. So I snuck it...as funny as this is, this is pretty real life right now. Like the #reallife kind of life. This kid hates it when I use hashtags, so as an homage to him I use them, as often as I can. School is such a struggle with him I'm praying for a good year, better than last. He prioritizes better, cares more about where he's been and where he's going, and makes better choices. I need him to finish out this school career better than 9th grade. We've got some mountains to conquer with this one, which we can if he would believe in himself just a tad more.

I was pleasantly surprised he was willing to take the picture you see below...LOOK he even smiled a smidge.  Really get up close to this picture and look at his smile, it will be worth it. Also, please take note of his spiffy shoes.  Nike now makes super expensive shoes that look like a Hawaiian shirt was draped over it. He loves them and I didn't buy them, there is a special place in heaven for grandparents that take kids shopping. Thank you!

 This is my goofy goober, the supposed easy one...yeah the last year or 3 have all be lies!  This kid is starting 7th grade and I am hoping for a stellar year for him. He's the great hope you know...or something like that. He is doing an after school sport as well (Lee is doing a sport too, so busy kids).

Holy smokes guys!  This one is my Senior! He is hoping by the end of the month to drive. The last semester of his Junior year found him just shy of all B's...so no driving over the summer for him. Per our mantra, B's for keys, he didn't quite get there. However, he's not keen on driving the van...for some reason he thought hew as going to get to drive my Tahoe. Sadly I laughed uproariously at that and he was a bit bewildered. I informed him the van was his to drive until said van is sold.  This week we have Senior Pictures, so he's excited about that. ...  Ahhh please! Who am I kidding??  We all know he isn't and that the pictures are really for me!!  At least he's a good sport.  All in all, pretty exciting time for him and really for all of us. 

Well here are the 3 munchkins...yes Lee gets MUCH amusement from being taller than Ian. When I mentioned to Ian, at some point this summer that I thought Lee grew past him, it wasn't well received. Not possible, I'm the oldest!!  He swears that's not what he said. He may not have but it was written ALL over his face.  Ian is done growing, Lee has a little bit of growing to go, so it will be interesting to see that and just how long it takes Goofy Goober there to take off.

 Well, last but not least, the 5th grader! The last of the #paulson4 to be in elementary school! His outfit is interesting to say the least as well as his hair. God bless him he tries.  Like his dad said earlier today, fly your freak flag high! He flew it high today! Definitely be able to find him in a crowd!  Praying we take our last year of elementary and knock it out of the park this year!

Taking these moments when they are willing to be in the same breathing space as I am.  He was willing today. Also, felt bad he was taking a picture by himself, so we did a selfie. Maybe tomorrow when his cousin is here I'll take a picture of them. He might enjoy that more. But we sure do look good!

Well #mygalrainier was out in full force this morning when each of the kids left for school, by the end of the night though she was all covered up.  I do enjoy my view on my porch. It was kind of wild though how much she changed from when my big boys left to when the last left. Really amazing!

Alright, so now I've done the obligatory first day of school picture and post. It's also an hour past my old lady bedtime. I'll have to figure better time to do this, but as it seems, night time is probably the time. I have enjoyed doing this and I'm glad I started. I hope to have many more posts coming because the last post in 2017...well a lot has happened in our family! 

To all those families out there starting another school year.... "May The Odds EVER Be In Your Favor!"

Screw it

Screw it!

I've had it!

I'm an almost 42yr old woman and I have debated for too long about this blog. I let joy be taken away from me. I let someone else make me feel like there was an ultimatum. More than anything, I'm more mad at myself than I am  at the people that I allowed myself to be made to feel this way. That I allowed someone make me feel that way.

SO...here I am, I'm back. I'm back to blogging for as long as I can (seems blogging isn't much of a thing anymore...what!?!) I have missed this way to much and bemoaned it for far too long. I've made a stand, and here I am!