Monday, December 16, 2013


No pictures today...Just some verbal vomit for ya...

1) We are the embodiment of the Griswold's this year...the kids have wrecked our 'new' Christmas tree (we bought it last year)...we no longer have lights that work because the part that plugs into the outlet...well it just flat out fell off...we are looking into if there is a warranty.  That part shouldn't just fall off even though my kids wouldn't stop touching it and running around it and into it. 

2) To add icing on the cake...our lights outside...well those are new also.  We bought the LED lights and they are pretty slick and we all like them.  The catch...they come with a remote and have about 500 settings (not really that much) to choose from.  Wanna guess at who had the remote last? Yeah...he's not telling where it's at...or rather because he's 5 he can't remember.  Soooo... that means our 3 strands of lights...just randomly do their own thing...for 2 nights straight the icicle lights were fine, one strand was stuck at yellow/green and the other strand was being spastic and doing, well whatever.  However, I will state that today the strand that was stuck on yellow/green is no longer stuck...but neither strand are doing the same thing.  Pretty sure the remote is somewhere OR (and Frank is pretty convinced it seems) that some random person is having a great laugh at our expense...or mostly his...he's unsure as of yet.

3) We had to have the talk with know the talk right?  Not the birds and the bees kind of talk (although I'm sure that will be coming way too soon...) but the talk about Santa.  Sigh....the last few days really have just been crappy all around, but this was a bit too much for me.  Granted I know he's almost 12 but I wasn't going to be the one that made him grow up like this.  I couldn't bring myself to break the news to him nor could Frank.  And I think we had just decided to let it go this year...again.  We are a bunch of chickens I tell ya!  Turns out this year was going to be the year.  Ian was being a brat (shocker!!) and throwing a fit about anything and everything (see what happens when you don't feed your kids what they want...the horror! Oh and by the way...I was informed that I just had kids to have a spic and span house...I'm still waiting for that!).  While pitching a fit and being a general pain the you know what, Lee comes out and asks me if Santa is real.  Now we get these questions from time to time and they are easily assuaged with well yes of course Santa is real! Has he ever let you down? Have you always gotten something left for you? I believe in Santa!  Usually those things works.  However, when you throw in Ian...things get dicey.  Ian was busy talking in Lee's ear and saying Santa isn't real.   I also hear Ian chanting Santa isn't real, all in hearing distance of Lee, Dru, and Eli.  Imagine my horror as this all unfolds while Frank is out getting a hair cut!  Things are getting hairy here!  (pun intended).  I go round and round with Ian (now I need you to remember I didn't grow up with Santa, that I recall, so this whole thing is all very new...ish) and finally I've said what I can and he's still chanting Santa isn't real.  I finally look at him and tell him to stop talking and he can stay in his room and don't come out, even to go pee (cause I know the whole time he'll be chanting that very statement loudly for all to hear...I'm seriously trying to do damage control and probably making it worse!) and I shut the door.  I immediately get my phone and call Frank in a answer!  So I do the next best thing...I text.  My text starts with "Uh we have a 911 situation..."  Frank finally gets home from the worlds longest hair cut (he looked good though) and we have an emergency meeting before we call Ian into our room.  We get to talking to him and trying to figure out why he's chanting. He tells us he's been hearing kids talk and some of the things that have happened.  So we explain to him that Santa is the spirit of Christmas and we all get to be Santa and isn't that so much fun to be able to give and see what happens when we give.  Explain to him how he gets to be a Santa to his brothers...and Santa is magic because there are things you just can't explain, Christmas miracles that well the magic/spirit of Christmas are what is left to explain it.  That he is under no certain terms to utter one iota to anyone that Santa isn't real, and that what you'll find is that more people than you realize believe in Santa.  Then named a few names of people in his life that believe in Santa and that they could ask them and they'd tell him yes they believe...that his dad and I believe.  You get the idea.  Then....then it happened...I opened my mouth and said something to the effect of " even though Santa isn't a real person...."people...I kid you not...Ian wasn't talking about the same thing his dad and I were talking about...we were not simpatico...I could see it wash over his face...I will never forget that moment for as long as I live!! I took a piece of his childhood away and although I'm still here I still feel like I will die!  I was the dream crusher and I never wanted to tell Ian about that...I wanted him to find out on his own or have it be Frank BUT not me!!!  It was me!!!!!  I know he can't stay a little kid forever but I never had a childhood, never got to really believe in Santa and kids are kids for such a short time and they want to grow up so fast. I want so bad for my kids to have a childhood and to stay there until the last possible moment...
So far this Christmas season has been crappy...really just one for the history books!

4) ...just because I'm making a list and being open...sorta....I hate the struggle with my weight.  It has been a GINORMOUS struggle since probably July, but been a major pain since the weather turned cold.  I want back to my I'm struggling badly with the 10lbs I've added since July...I have to get my head in the right place but I don't know where that is or how to get back there!!!

5) I would like to figure out my place in this world, my family, extended family, immediate family...I just wanna know where I stand.  If I know that and know my place I can make it work.  This roller coaster ride that I am on, well I don't quite know how or when to get off...and is it really that easy? Probably not or I'd have done it a long time ago...years ago even...back when I already knew but let myself get sucked in...when I had figured out so young to fly under the radar so no one would notice or care...that would have been the time to get off...maybe...

6) I'd like the turmoil of husband's job to be figured out...we've been on that ride since before Thanksgiving...thanks in part to a lot of different things and years of turmoil in Boeing, compounded by recent contract talks with a union...well suffice it to say...things have gotten extremely real around here.  There are serious talks going on right now in Frank's group about moving and to the state of South Carolina no less.  Because we've been in such turmoil over rumors and planned meetings and then canceled meetings we have come to our own conclusions  that even though we believe  a good part of his group is going to S. Carolina, we don't know if it's him or if he will have a job or anything.  We also don't know that if yes, he is being asked to move there what that means for us...most likely (depending on when and if he's asked to move) I will stay behind until we can sell the house (God willing)...all kinds of scary stuff going on right now!  With all that said, we believe they won't be announcing anything more until January when people go back to our plan is to try and forget about it and not stress too much more about it...try is the operative word here...try is really all we can do...and move is all we can do...keep a job is all we can do...and first and foremost pray is all we can do and test that God shall and has and is in all parts of my life it would seem. 

7)  I would also like to not be left out of immediate family holiday events...on purpose or so it would seem... Even if it wasn't on purpose I wasn't invited and that's just out right rude! Throw the ball in my court,  I would have made an effort to be there when I could OR on a different day!  But when I'm not even asked and it's all secretive or comes off that way (not one word was spoken to me...obviously) ...what the heck is all I can think!(seriously though, that's mild thinking)  Two years in a row I'm not invited to my own flippen families Thanksgiving...I don't even know what to think.  However, it's grossly overdue in addressing the situation with my family...and so I must embark on that journey...I don't have high hopes for ringing in the New year with gusto but now it looks to be more like  ringing it in with  dread...and because 2014 is an even number I had such high hopes.  I some how manage to be my own dream in heavens name does that happen!?! But on the serious side...makes you wonder what a person has to do or say before they aren't invited to a holiday family event right? I'm still puzzled by it.

8) I would like this house that's spic and span that Ian and Lee speak so often of...where is it??  I am just exhausted by the thought of the conversations of chores and you do them because you are a part of this family.  And no you aren't getting paid to participate in this family, you want money go out and get a job! And what is so hard to grasp about the concept of just get it done now and quickly (but done correctly) so that you are done, and can go about your day and so can I??? I also want my kids to start being more kind to each other and speak with respect to one another...this is so difficult right now to teach my kids.  I'd like Ian to stop fighting with his words...they hurt so much and trying to teach him to not fight that way is hard...really, really hard.  Hard to show him the effect he has on his brothers when he says he hates them and wants me to get rid of them or make them go away, that his life would be better w/o them.  He fights mean and I don't fight like that nor do I do well with that or how to fight back.  Trying to teach him that his tongue is sharp and that he must...MUST watch what he says or someday he's going to seriously regret what comes out of his mouth. There will be consequences to what he says.  One day it's just going to be him and his brothers and he's going to need them or they need him...they need to be there for each other, that we won't always be there.

 For Lee to just obey and do what is asked, to tone down the obnoxiousness a level or two or better yet find his volume control (my ears hurt a lot)...I am so tired of yelling his name.  They don't tell you when you pick your kids name to practice yelling it at the top of your lungs in frustration 20 times to see if you still like that name. 

For Dru to quit crying at the drop of the times it's just unbearable.  And trust me I have nothing against boys/men me it's gut wrenching to see  but so needed by boys/men (and if we are's important to us women too...just so we know they feel something)...I often tell my kids it's ok to cry.  But it becomes too much when it feels like it's all the when someone looks at him cross-eyed!  Dru also need to work on obeying...and listening...he also likes to just stand near me and whine or chant what he wants (like a 2 year old). For instance if I offer what I have for a snack and his options are the snack I provide OR whatever he has left in his lunch...he stands there whining/chanting that he wants something completely different than what was offered...for like 5 minutes!! I want to shove an ice pik in my ears!  It's too much!  It really is.

For Eli to stop blowing up like a stick of dynamite when he gets mad and for him to stop yelling to be heard, when he gets mad, when he's happy (again my ears hurt-I'm starting to sound like my Grandma Jolly...I get it now...she had 5 kids...4 of which were boys...she gets me), when he's angry...and he yells a lot.  His brothers like to poke the sleeping bear and then scatter when he's's not funny.  He tries to use his words, like when he tells Lee his heart is broken when Lee doesn't do what Eli tells him to...he's trying...

9) That they all quit using the word hate...and use instead I don't like...this is a battle...bigger than I ever imagined.

10) We (including Frank and I) have things to work on, to be kind to one another, to be good to one another, to love one another, speak kindly to one another, to respect one another, to fight fairly/well (there is a right way and a wrong way to fight), to be there for each other when we need them.  To watch our words and how they make people feel.  We need to all be consistent and to respectfully keep each other in accountable.  Being consistent will be key, but it's also the hardest thing to ever do/learn as an adult and as a parent...sometimes it's just easier to not be and that's when things happen.

So on that note...there is always hope in the Lord...he renews our strength....(even though I feel like I fall for the 4-letter word every time, and I'm left frustrated every time...I always seem to re-up my membership in that word...) , I hope to have/find tiny seeds of hope for the new year to foster and grow and have grown in  faith and trust in the Lord and to follow/trust  his plan for me and my family.  To see where he will lead us and what doors will be obviously wide- open and what ones will firmly be closed...I just pray it's painfully obvious to me...I'm afraid otherwise I'd be too obtuse to not see it.  May the Lord bless my guardian angle...she's got her work cut out for her...poor thing...just what did she sign up for right!?! 


Saturday, December 14, 2013

What Concert?

 Which Spice Girl is she?

 It was a fun shot to take and we drank WAY too much...hint..hint! She's posing from a character off a liquor bottle....
For whatever reason I felt we must really pose for this moment...posterity people!
Slug bug red!!!  Anita-1, you-0

We were off to see Maroon 5 and Kelly Clarkston...however they chickened out with the wind and cancelled our overnighter.  Seriously they bailed!!! It was so disappointing!  However, we had so much fun still and thank goodness we had time to sober up in the car for over an hour.  People of course all have to leave at the same time so the parking lot was well...a parking lot! HA!

 We sat and waited on the hill after they announced the concert was cancelled.  No sense in us getting hurt.  It paid off to wait though...I think I scored an awesome rain poncho and pair of pants...snow pants maybe?  Can't beat that you know!
We are now looking keeping anything and everything (and I do mean every word of that) to see Garth Brooks.  The man announced he was going on tour next year...Dear Lord help me!!!  What a dream to come true after so long of waiting!!
Well I can't keep my eyes open anymore and I'm I'm gonna head out. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Norwegian Traditions

Hello one and all!
I know it's been way too long but there's life for you.  It has been a roller coaster around here and not a good one.  Well I guess it's all perspective anyway.  With that said I'll try and catch up on this I think are important. 
Our little Sparky had a very good birthday.  He turned 5 this year and it's a year of big things for him.  He received money and an awesome sweater from the "Greats" (which he loves!  We were at a restaurant and he asked the waitress if she liked his, he got a Batman utility belt...very important in fighting evil!  A dinosaur rubber stamp set, he is more than tickled to use. He received a movie that features his dog Mighty in it (not really but we aren't telling him that!)  We were able to swing getting him a big poster in a frame...of the Batman sign. On top of that he had a cool birthday cake, a purple minion from the movie Despicable Me 2.  I'll have to post about the cake!
Next I believe is Thanksgiving.  It was pleasant enough...we went to the was bearable with certain people there, but I was glad to go home too.  And just as an a matter of tact and etiquette...when you know someone else is bring...say pumpkin pie...DO NOT bring a dessert (especially if asked to bring a side dish) and if you choose to ignore that,  please have the decency to not bring pumpkin cheese cake!!! NOT OKAY!  Then to add insult to not start dishing out dessert that isn't yours and do not top my dessert with your homemade whip cream.  Seriously...just don't! 
On that note...more stuff in between but it's stuff I just can't post about at this moment.  But what I will say is in the future or to present day people to where this applies.  Do NOT show favoritism to just one grandchild/niece/nephew/etc....and do not show favoritism between your children.  I will also not make the choice to not invite your child/family member to a family get's gut wrenching to be on the other side and not get invited or find out after the fact that you were purposely not invited.  Nothing will make this ok...but God will help me forgive and move on.
On that note...brings us to a much happier post I hope.  Last year a few of us learned how to make Lefsa.  It's a traditional Norwegian treat.  It's made from potatoes and then you spread it with butter and sprinkle sugar on it.  Really not good for you but most things that aren't are really just so good.  And these are the best fresh off the pan.  Well, after our crash course in Lefsa making we took some home and chowed down.  For Christmas last year the "Greats" gave all of us a Lefsa making skillet.  Fast forward to this year and I wanted to make some for my family.  I called a cousin and asked if she could give me another crash course and for company :)  So away we make Lefsa and they were delightful.  Turns out I'm not half bad! Yeah me! 
Frank and I would like to make some more and try and get the boys involved in making it.  Family tradition/heritage.  No rules that you can't have Lefsa just at Thanksgiving and Christmas time right? 
This is what Lefsa looks like...this isn't mine though.  It's basically a potaote latke/pancake and then add butter and sugar. Yum-O!

Now...this little beauty...well it's horrific in smell and taste...says the young lady with no Norwegian background.  I have no idea if this is a delicacy, what I do know is that anyone coming into the Paulson family is now getting in scott free!  When I married into the family I had to try it (because we are polite right? We don't hurt people's feelings about the food that was prepared for us...right?)  This food, in the last 13 years has become scarce.  The older generation loves this...well how about Grandpa Great likes it.  I'd like you to know I did try a bite and it was recommended to me by my said husband with a smirk on his face...drown it in mustard.  So I did...mustard in no way can mask that taste, and I have no idea if there is anything that can.  I'm sad it's not around hardly anymore (not that I'd eat any...but I'd like my boys to have an opportunity to try it...who knows they might like it), and it's an ending of a tradition to modern day.  I love tradition and knowing family background.  I don't know much about mine but the Paulson's know their genealogy and we are blessed with enough of the "Greats" to still hear stories and hear Norwegian spoken and continue and instill tradition/stories/heritage to my generation and our kids.

This is Lutefisk- dried cod: a Scandinavian dish of dried cod, preserved in potash lye, then skinned, boned, and boiled.
Next what we have is a light and delicate cookie called Krumkaka...yes it sounds just like it looks.  I swear for years I was hearing this wrong...who adds "kaka" to the end of their treats? Today I borrowed Grandma Great's electric Krumkaka iron in an attempt to make a batch for a party tomorrow.  We are doing a cookie exchange...these are really good with whip cream inside of them...I've heard of people putting berries in them too...this I must try!
Krumkaka pretty much taste and smells like waffle cones...just light, crunch and delightful!

I pretty much had to beat my family off the Lefsa and the Krumkaka...especially today.  Frank was as bad as the boys were about the Krumkaka...can you hand me one of those? Can I have another one?  I finally had to say this is the last one to Frank...these are for my Christmas party tomorrow mister!  I had to profusely promise to each and every one that I would make another batch as long as the "Greats" don't need their Krumkaka iron back.  As for the Lefsa...thankfully I can freeze those and have a bag stashed away for whenever. 

So there is your crash course in Norwegian food...well really the extent of what I know anyway, and as you can see it isn't much. 

What are traditional foods are eaten in your house either all the time or around the holidays?

Thursday, November 21, 2013


It's that time of year again! 
Where craziness ensues and I buckle down for the time of year I have a really hard time dealing with.  Birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas....really it's just the holidays that I can't stand.  Birthdays are really fun and exciting to a point. 
Just know I try hard every year
It's Eli's birthday coming up...on the 21st...and it's coming on us fast!  I can't believe a whole year has come and gone with this boy (well any of them for that matter, lol)!  Maybe I see it more with him because he's the last or what I don't know. 
He's so excited for his's a big deal you know, he's 1 whole hand now!
Here is a year of Eli in pictures, which I really like doing and I like seeing.  It's amazing to see the changes they go through in a year.
November 21, 2012
January 2013

November 21, 2013
THE big day has arrived and he swears he's a little bit bigger today.  That he grew a little last night, just to 5 years though!
Today at preschool it was his special day...he brought purple minion cake pops, thanks to a wonderful friend of mine.  Shout out to Ms. Breanna for those awesome treats!
 Ms. Carry is reading Eli's special day book...his favorite song is "Iron man" and his favorite color is blue...I always though he was partial to red.  I know nuttin!
 Birthday Spankings!  He's been waiting for these ALL day today...woke up this morning trying to get his brothers to give them to him.  I had to kibosh that idea because Dad wasn't home!  Can't do those with out Dad!!
 You can't have birthday spankings or a birthday with out getting a special birthday hug from Dad!
 My baby is 5!  We also were able to take him to a froyo place in town and get a special treat as a family!  He was very excited about this and his birthday dinner.  He chose to have nachos (has to be Doritos and just cheese...that's the right way to have them...the rest of us were informed we eat our nachos wrong...we had meat and cheese and sour cream), peaches, cherry Jell-O, and Pepsi...and then our froyo!  What a day!
*On a side note...I really am not OK with Eli turning 5 at all!  I'm really having a hard time with this...what am I gonna do when he wants to stop snuggling to sleep every night? He's the last and I know someone has too be the last...but my God these feelings are tough!  This is just all around hard to wrap my head and heart around...this was NOT covered in the parenting handbook!!
God help!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Crying Out

Today I had a moment that for me, maybe wasn't mind blowing, but it did give me cause to stop and think.

Thinking is not always good for me, for me it tends to get me stewing about stuff , planning things, feel overwhelmed, inadequate...the list goes on.

Today Ian made a phone call to some folks and it was hard to hear his side of the conversation and not get frustrated that he'd not heard from these people earlier...much, much earlier!  That they spent the entire time on the phone catching up, when they should already know these things about this child and that they should know my other children.  But they don't...they may think they do but they don't.  I felt like this call gave them a free pass with him (and maybe me?) to catch up and make a 'show' of having made the effort.  I'm glad they found something to talk about, but he gathered there were surprised about a reading choice he/we made.  I can't make too much out of that, although it has struck me as odd.  I'm letting it go (again another mantra...I'm overwhelmed with mantras for the year....

All the while this is going on I'm having a conversation of my own and feeling very depressed and angry and a whole other round of tumultuous feelings.  Trying to not weep from these feelings and remembering a conversation a friend of mine and I had.  That at least these particular people have found joy in something/someone so very far away from them.  I am not implying that they shouldn't find joy and happiness in these things/people so far away but that they should also be looking at what is so very close to them.  They are not. Have not in a long time.  Have no idea if they ever will.  Now whether my friend was being sarcastic or not I don't know...there was a moment tonight when it hit nearly brought me to my knees.

I cried out to God.  I realized I had been spending so much time, feeling hurt, angry, depressed, confused and whatever else about this situation that I don't think I ever stopped to think that I hadn't been praying.  Praying for what I don't know but it was brought to my attention loud and clear that I need to pray.  Pray...aha!  This shouldn't be new to me and yet, here I am again.  I am at the feet of God crying out to him to help me not hurt anymore, to not be angry anymore.  To be happy for them that they have found something that brings them joy. Pray for the blessing of the relationship they will have from far away, and the relationships they find that don't include me and my family and to let that go.  Pray to God to help me know and believe with all my heart/soul that there isn't anything wrong with me or my husband and children...why they have made the choices they have isn't something I can figure out.  Pray for joy and peace for help me forgive (and maybe when the time comes to accept forgiveness?).

*This (above) , selfishly (whether right or wrong at this moment-God will steer my heart I'm sure) is what I pray for most.  I have spent too many years feeling like I do not fit into any family I am a part family or in-laws. I don't know why that is but my guess is that what happened as a child to me (and many other children in my family) changed where I stood or didn't stand in my families.  As for the families I married into...probably some of the same reason and a few others that aren't maybe appreciated by them but needed by me.( I have a lot work in that area...especially with a certain mouth piece who comes and goes as he pleases in this family.  One thing at a time here people!  I don't know why we don't fit in but we stick out like, well all the things that pop into my head are inappropriate so how about a giraffe in a crowd of penguins...that's how much I don't fit in.  I rely on my friends to be my family...)*
Just when I think I'm OK with me...I am reminded I'm not OK and must work some more on myself...guess that's where the line "constant work in progress" comes into play.

I want joy back in my life, I don't want to hurt any more, I don't want to sit and spend any more time wondering what is wrong with me and my family.  I can't spend one more moment hurting, feeling angry, being jealous, BUT I can spend time praying...for them, for their relationship/s, for me, for my boys, my husband, to be the best me I can be.

Lord please, please hear my prayers, hear my cries...I need you Lord and I can not do this by myself. 

**There are times when I wonder why I'm going through this and how I will be able to use this for later.  Like I can look on my childhood now and see how the rape and being molested can help others.  I can see those possibilities.  What I can't see is where I can take and use these experiences in the future...stuff like this just (I believe and I hold tight to that) doesn't happen with out a reason.  I will pray there is some way in which I can use this experiences, trials, frustrations, and pain in my life now and in the future!**

Monday, November 4, 2013


Nothing much here today but when I was at the Pumpkin patch these little things struck my fancy.
I love the texture on this pumpkin.

 I do love the Mums and they are such a hardy plant!
 The little pumpkins for the kids on field trips to take...what a prize!
 I just love the stem on this one!
 I think white pumpkins are becoming the new thing more and more...they are kind a cool I must say.
 The texture and color on these were what caught my eye.
 I wish I was creative enough and had the means to be creative enough like this for my house!  Love this pot!

Have a great night/day!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Romantic and Other Things....

Today...was a very lovely day...actually I don't know that but I'm pretty sure that is a line or something from a song....

Friday is early release day in our town...which is a joke...personally the fact teachers need a day for bouncing ideas off each other seems that on your own time and quit taking time away from my kids and their education...but that's a conversation for another time and day.

Today, Frank came home early from work and we hung out for a bit before someone had to get Eli...and by someone that was Frank.  Something about having their dad come get them at school gets them all but vibrating. 

Today Frank just said the most romantic thing to me, and if anyone knows Frank or guys at all...he just isn't romantic...much anyway.

Frank told me today that he wanted me to take that extra hour we are going to get on Sunday and sleep...that he would move time for me.  Super romantic right???

Go ahead...laugh hysterically...we did.  We had a good chuckle

The other funny thing that happened was tonight after dinner, I was talking to the boys about if they wanted to write a letter they should do it tomorrow since we were going to the Post Office to mail a bunch of letters.  So I was telling them all the people they could write too and I mentioned I was writing to a cousin who is in Hungary for a year.  Lee just looked at me and said where or what is that.  I said it was a country ...he said he knew that but were people in that country Hungrier? 

Really, do you see the people I live with???

The other day Eli had his Wolverine costume on and came running out and hollered at the top of his lungs to Dru...he had muscles and he KNEW how to use them!!

Where do these men/boys come up with this stuff!?!?

* to bed for me I just had to share my head shaking moments with you all!*



I am very late in getting this out, but that seems to be my theme so far this year...I'm embracing it.
So should you!
As much as I hate it...this is us this year...go Paulson's!
This year is Eli's turn to go to preschool and he was so ready and excited for it this year.  Last year if you spoke the word Preschool at all he'd scream "NO" and run the opposite direction.  He was NOT ready then, but definitely ready now.  The weather was wonderful in September and he was able to wear shorts to cool right?  My kids thought so anyway...considering this was the first year I have ever let them wear shorts at school...E-V-E-R!
This picture is from the first day of school!
 He was SO excited about this backpack!  He had to show it off.

Many things have changed this year along with Eli going to school, I have a job after 9 years of not having a job!  Totally unexpected but I am loving it.  I am a teacher assistant in Eli's 4/5 yr. old class.  I am loving it and love doing something different during my week, but man I tell you that many kids for 2 1/2 exhausting!  However, in that same breath I find it really enjoyable and fun...still not sure teaching is my thing...but maybe preschool???  Who knows! 

Eli seems OK with me working at his school, although the other 2 days he is always asking if he gets to go by himself.  When I say yes he says "yes!" with a fist pump.  LOL It must be such a hardship to put up with his momma!


Thursday, October 31, 2013

Growth Plate

My son Ian....




Yeah...this kid...where do I even start with this kid! First he has an appendectomy the first week of Kindergarten and just about a month after Middle school starts he ends up having a 5" screw put in his right hip because of a slipped growth plate!

I call this the Meyer's gene...well I didn't come up with it and I'm no relation to the Meyer's...I just keep insinuating myself into this family...those poor people!

It all started the last week or weekend of  August when Ian started gimping around...slightly at times or quite noticeably.  Now Ian is a little bit of a drama queen so I didn't think much about it and decided to wait and see.  Then after our camping trip to Ilwaco in August and BEFORE our hiking trip to Lake 22 I took Ian to the Chiropractor to get adjusted!

So he gets adjusted and he's 1/2 an inch out...kind of big deal but not too bad.  The Chiro says it's fine if we still go on our 5 mile hike that weekend.  So off we go to see our friends and to hike for an adventure.  We do our hike and Ian is limping pretty good but it's hard to tell from what and I know before we got to the top I had to talk him down from hysteria.  HE. WAS. DONE.  Near to tears that boy was.  I didn't think at the time it was from his hip but now I wonder how much of that was.  I'd like to not beat myself up about all those moments and times from August-October when we did stuff.  Good luck with that!

Ian is still gimping/limping and swinging his hip around and generally in pain so off to a Dr's appointment we go.  This is where we hear the wonderful term: Slipped Capital Femoral Epiphysis.  Say that a few times, it will start rolling off your tongue...bahahaha!

I had to look it up and really set myself up in a tizzy. I'm sure a few of you got some phone calls and tears!  A slipped growth plate is pretty serious business.  Now it's not life or death but if his growth plate had slipped all the way off it would have cut the blood vessels off and then we'd be looking at a different Ian with no leg kind of situation.  Life altering for Ian and us!!!

X-rays were requested and we went in the next day to get them done.  Waited around for results and our Dr. wasn't sure so he sent them to someone and that person said it wasn't, but they both felt that we for sure still needed to make an appointment with a specialist.  So I get the info...wait a day (they said they would set everything up...that never happened ) and called them myself and get everything going.  The pissy part is we have to wait almost a month!  A MONTH!! Apparently it's their busy season? Kid you not that's what the scheduler said..."sorry we can't get you in sooner but it IS our busy month".  Can I tell you just how disturbing that is?? 

So we waited...and waited...and waited.  He continues to be in pain...he stays off of it as much as he can...he has a note for P.E....we just keep doing.  Finally our day has come!!! Now, I have to say my gut has always thought we had the slipping growth plate...but there was a small chance it was something else...I really wanted something else.  What I have no idea but nothing as big as this.  Why our family does surgeries I don't's kind of old really.  We see the specialist and she looks at the xrays we brought with us and they take a few of their own.  Now the time comes...what is wrong with Ian's hip.  Well he had what we were thinking it might be...UGH!!!! Are you kidding me!?!

Now we had not let Ian know what it might be because it didn't make sense to get him all anxious for a I said nothing...not even how they fix this.  I let the DR do that.  Man that was really, really tough.  He started crying as soon as she said surgery and it took everything in me to not cry right along with him!  Barely managed that, it's really tough being a mom I just want everyone to know! We got tough real quick and let him know this was the way to go and that let's be thankful it's not both hips because that would be a whole other set of issues! Really!  The pay off was going to be much better than where he was at pain, inactive...and in pain.  We can do better for him, so we must...better quality of life!

The Dr let's us know this surgery needs to happen as soon as possible...she was free the next long as the OR was of course.  We said let's go for it, let's get this done and Ian on his way to healing and get him up and moving and enjoying things again.  We get things scheduled and as soon as we leave the hospital I'm texting (well I had been texting through the whole appointment to a few key people) and calling people to tie up loose ends.   Meaning the other little boys and school and work.  We also take Ian out to lunch...kind of like a last meal of sorts since he was having some pretty major surgery in this momma's eyes!  His daddy really spoiled him and let him get a milkshake people!!!  BIG DANG DEAL! 

Jump forward to day of surgery and all that prep work...our Pastor came to the hospital to see Ian and to pray with us (that was amazing...I've never had anyone do that with or for us...he even cancelled a few appointments to be there he felt it was that!).  Then before you know it they are giving Ian all kinds of drugs to get him ready...the funny juice as our Pastor kept calling it.  This is big...they are going to cut into his upper thigh and drill up into his hip bone/joint and put a 5" screw so that nothing moves.  All I can think of is they are drilling!!! FYI...said Dr. let me know that this isn't any normal can't just go to your local Lowes and buy one...YA THINK!?!  Honestly I think I have stupid on my forehead 99% of the time.  I am at this point concerned about his pain...bone pain really they are drilling...the thought makes my teeth hurt!  So I'm amped for pain...I'm ready for intense nights with Ian with pain.

Off he goes to surgery and it takes awhile but not anymore than what they though, 90 minutes and then it took forever to get back to him. He was in recovery about an hour and then we got there.  We with him for about another hour and a half.  That was mostly to get Ian awake and his pain but also someone to take us to a room.  He was pretty drugged so not in pain when he woke up...thank the Lord for that little bit! 

FINALLY they get us a room and he eats a little bit more...poor kid is starving.  Through all this he's had some more pain pills because we want to keep it under control and we have about an hour drive home...I do not want the pain to hit 20 minutes into our drive home!!! Give my child drugs please!  We get him settled and give him the remote and we now wait for the physical therapist...we must see them before they will let us leave.  A crash course for Ian and his parents about crutches...damn crutches!  When she finally was able to show up, Ian was pretty much lit from one end to the other on Vicoden and extremely tired.  His good humor for the day was G-O-N-E!  He put up with it pretty well but we were pushing it.  He had a few things he had to pass and he barely did that.  He got it done though and they let us go...thank you Lord! He slept on the way home and tried to go fast when he got home and he still didn't have a good feel for being on crutches.  They will be the death of me...really they will.

I worried about his pain because he wasn't acting as I had prepped myself for.  Turns out for the month and a half we were waiting for the specialist appointment and us trying to figure out what was wrong. His pain level on the scale was between a 7-8...WOWZA!  After surgery and well after all meds and local had worn off he was only a 1 on the pain scale...A ONE! Are you kidding me!?! 

He is doing good and moving along...but below is the x-ray they took on Monday (our post-op appointment) from after his surgery.  Check out that screw in his hip...JEEPERS!!  He has fallen once already at school and scared the shit out of a lot of people.  Taken by ambulance to the hospital and x-rayed there and then sent home.  (not to discount the fact that he again fell tonight, Halloween night going up a ramp that had water and slime on it...I about cried)...the weather is going to be a hindrance.  By the way, he has to be on crutches, putting no weight on his leg/hip for 6 weeks!!! We have at least 4 more weeks to go and then he will have more Physical Therapy...I hope by spring he will be his self!

So there is one big thing that has happened and we continue to deal with in many ways at our house.  Really looking forward to seeing Ian getting back to doing things that 11 year olds boys should be doing....anyone know what that is???


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Pumpkin Patch

It's that time of year again! It's time for the big round orange know...pumpkins!!!
This year was Eli's turn to finally have a field trip all his own!  Be still that child's heart!
This was the very first thing he ran too...Grandma Lea would be so proud! He even managed to lasso the cow a few times! Impressive
He's just so darn cute!
He couldn't wait to get to this part of the pumpkin patch! The Corn pit and that it was SO funny that he was playing the cows food.  "Wasn't that funny mom?"
Love the action shot though!
I did have to stop him from taking the corn home...he was caught a few times filling his pockets up.  I still ended up with corn in my washing machine.  Tricky kid!
The farm animals in no particular order but they are still fun to look at...not picture are the really fluffy bunnies and the grey kittens (thank heavens there were already spoken for...I think if there weren't some mommas would have walked off with some due to children...ah who am I kidding us moms wanted them!).
They just need a  blanket...piggies in a blanket???

The pumpkin spoke to him...he chose this one!
Scary, lonely pumpkin!
Eli humored me.
Can he just be a wee babe again? Please????
He had such a good time and was sad to leave, especially since they gave all the kids a free (wink..wink...) chocolate milk!  How can you go wrong, right??

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

THE Infamous Hike

I know I've posted a lot of things and said a lot of things about our hike at Lake 22 in Snohomish, now I finally have the rest of the pictures to go with it. About time I know!
I loved hiking this summer, not the complaining and the, at times physically dragging of said children to the hike, up the trail, down the trail, and then trying to keep up with them as they dash for the car, but just getting out in nature and doing something for me
 I hiked as a kid but like so many things for me and my memories, things I did as a kid always seems to have  some negative feeling/memory that is attached to things.  So it takes me awhile to get around to retrying things as an adult and remember I'm the adult here!  I think that will be a lifetime of constantly telling myself I'm the adult and in charge!
So hike we did and I have plans for more hikes and adventures for next spring/summer!  The kids however, not so much.  I have found though that if they have hiking partners it goes that much easier!
Here are some of what I took up the trail, around the lake, and down the trail...I had such a wonderful time enjoying friendship, my children at times, and nature!
Eli...what can I say.  He was ticked that I would NOT carry his backpack for him...we were maybe 30 minutes into the hike.  He took his anger out on the trail and stomped a good way up it!
The group of boys...and yes I purposely dressed as many of my boys in yellow as I could...just in case.

I found a flower or wild flower that I thought was beautiful.
I hope I have this right, but this and the picture and the next one are of a mudslide that happened earlier this year.  Amazing the power of those things!

My friend's son found this guy in a puddle...pretty cool salamander.  This guy blended in really well, we almost didn't see him!
We found the lake!   The snow pack was still there, and yes if you stopped moving for any length of time it was chilly!
Closer view of the snow pack.
Low lying clouds...I really just thought it was beautiful scenery.
My friend and her dog we brought along for bear bait.               KIDDING! (sort of)
OK, just trucking along on the trail and all the sudden there was this ...random!
Just some random pictures

I forget what this is called but when it blooms all the way to the top it means summer is over...just darn cool!
Alright, I confess! I am reading the book series Outlander (Diana Galbadon), and this just seemed like part of Scotland described in the books...having only been to Scotland as a wee bairn I couldn't tell you if I was wrong or right...but it just looked like something you might find there.

My fellas...don't ask me what Ian is looking at because I don't know...we are going with they all agreed to take a picture FOR me with out fighting me.
Eli showing me just how fast he could run.  He's another Forrest Gump in the making there folks!
A few of the big boys wanted to go hike this big rock...tiny little specks almost!

They made it to the middle...such rock stars!

Have no idea what kind of flora this is but looked pretty cool.  Wonder if it already bloomed?
Eli couldn't go hike the BIG rock but wanted me to know he could hike a rock...see he hiked a rock!
More flora and fauna (is that even spelled right?)

We are half way around the Lake here, spectacular view!
Really just thought this was a cook patter on the snow when we went and hiked up to the snow pack.
A cave of sorts from the snow pack...if you've not been by one of these would not believe the wind and the cold that whips off and around these things!  Takes your breath away!  Really amazing,
I think this picture is of the lake up by the ice pack.
Regular explorers these guys!
The next 3 pictures are of a listening to the water.

My hiking buddy  as we were looking and taking pictures of the waterfall, all the while trying to keep up with boys that were trying to dash to the car!
I definitely would go on this hike again, however we are going to conquer Mt. Pilchuck sans kids next summer and I am really looking forward to that hike, finding new hikes and checking out The Grove of Patriarchs and the Ape Caves and a few more!
On that note, there are only 10 months until summer...but who's counting!?!