Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A REAL Smile!!

Look what I managed to sneak away and get...he didn't even know he was giving me a rea smile!  Which is LOADS better than his face smile or the lack of smile!  He's SO handsome!

Swinging With the Birds

Well I was swinging in a way with the birds.  Not quite how I imagined but swinging no less.  Frank you totally made me laugh when I came across this.  Knowing totally with out a doubt that you took this on purpose! 
You, Frank, are a total goofball!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


It's that time of year again for lots of people.  So may different people graduating!

Tonight we have preschoolers graduating, specifically Dru!  He's walking the processional here, looking calm and collected...smooth operator.
 The dashing young man that he is...girls will be swooning sooner than I'd like I'm sure.

Man it's hard to no swoon though you know?  Honestly...the kid has a hold on me!

Congrats Dru my boy!  On to bigger and better things in life and what it has to offer.  I know it's only preschool but it's just the tip of the iceberg in your journey to becoming who you are and whatever you choose to be when you grow up.

Picture of the Day

Aren't they just the cutest and sweetest thangs?  Just melts your itty bitty heart! 

Ok on a serious note though, I can't believe Dru has graduated and headed off to Kindergarten...that went quick!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


This is a photo that Ian took in Disneyland, I thought it was cute.  This is pretty much how Lee 'walked' Disneyland.  So help me if he does this again I might have to throttle him!  Lord I do love that child!

Monday, May 21, 2012

NW Trek

....and the animals we saw there!

Look at the first animals we saw there! An Ian, Lee and Dru...rare creatures for sure!
                                                      A beautiful Golden Eagle.

                                                 A massive Buffalo...he was eating breakfast.
 Some horned sheep on the hill side
 A picture I just really liked
 A male big horned sheep. Those horns are big up close.
 and of course we can't forget the Canadian Goose!  We did see some goslings...nice and fluffy!
 When Lee caught sight of this guy I think his mouth starting watering...all he saw was MEAT!  However, I have always thought buffalo were some of the coolest animals on our earth.  Just something about them and their history in this world.
 This male Caribou was just lounging about on the road just chillin.  The antlers were just amazing!  Imagine having those things on your head all the time...just screams migraine to me.
 And you would know we went all the way to NW Trek to see bugs...kinda like we go to the zoo to see ducks.  Why do kids always go berserk at those 2 things?  Always cracks me up!
 A badger...every time I see one of these I always think of the movie Fox and The Hound.
 Does he look like a Pokey or Spike?  These guys are always neat to see, porcupines are just cool and they waddle when they walk and their needles make noise when he walks too!
 Barn owls...just cool from that title, right?
 A Bald Eagle...amazing creatures and beautiful to boot!

Well those were just a few of the animals we saw there! It was SO much fun I can hardly wait until we go again...which will be soon!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Language of The Dru

Do you speak the language of Dru? 

Yeah, me either.  Well I try anyway but I fail every time.  Nothing like having your older kids translate for you when you stand there looking stupid...which is a lot it seems lately.

Alright, so I have to tell a back story to bring us to this morning.  I thought I had blogged about it before but I'll be darned if I can't find it.  So if I did blog about it before, now you get to read it again. 

I believe it was last year when we were at Crescent Bar with my friend Nikki and the first day we were there the pools were closed.  So we had to make do playing in the lagoon of sorts there.  Anyway, we all went down to the water packed to the nines with all our stuff and beach toys.  While there the kids built little moats and discovered while playing in the water that there were minnows in the water.  All the boys wanted as many fish as they could find.  Wouldn't you know it, Dru wanted help to get his fish, they were faster than he was. At some point during all this I took off to take care of something.  While I was gone Dru was talking to his Auntie, he was asking her to catch him some 'doofuses'.  Well as I remember it being told, she asked a few times and thought for awhile what he was saying.  She finally figured out he was asking her to catch him '2 fishes'...'doofuses'.  Sounds really close right?

OK, fast forward to this morning sometime after 7am. As we are eating breakfast Dru announces to me this random comment. 
Dru-"Mom, thank goodness I'm not white" 
Me-"What!?! Thank goodness you're not white???" 
Dru-"No, white" 
Me-....silence....wondering just what the heck he is trying to tell me!  If you've seen Nemo, there is a spot in the movie where there Marlin is being given directions from Squirt.  There is this look on Marlin's face...a blank stare.  Afterwards Marlin yelled, I know he's talking to me but I don't understand what he's saying.  THAT WAS ME THIS MORNING!  What is he trying to tell me!?!?!
Me-"Dru are you saying RIGHT?"
Dru-"Yes!  White!"
Me-"because you are left-handed?"

That was the end of the conversation and he went about his business, leaving me in a daze.  It was TOO early for trying to learn a new language I should already have a fluent grasp on, he's going to be 6 in four months for crying out loud!!!

Thank you Dru for the laughs!!!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Super Moon

This last one is my fave, although  do like them all!
These were taken Saturday, the 5th, by the way.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Grandma Great's House

Eli got to go somewhere ALL by himself today!  Oh he was terribly excited, can you tell?  He had his lunch box AND backpack stocked.  The lunch box had a juice box in it and a snack.  The backpack had 3 tools in it...a sander type thing, a wrench, and a hammer.  Just in case Grandpa Great needed help, you just never know! 

We dropped the big boys off at the bus stop...OK well we didn't.  We watched them run to the bus stop.  It was my fault, I made them late.  I took some time for me in a rushed manner.  You know, sometimes I manage my time pretty well and others not so much.  I was doing something for me because I was going for a massage...I needed to shave!!!  How could I have forgotten!?!  Oh seriously ladies!  And because I like to wax I needed to wax the eyebrows, lip and pits.  I'm not as fast as I think I am. 

I digress!  We watched the big boys run for the bus, dropped Dru off at preschool, and off we went to the Great's house!  We got there and he was out the door before I got my belt off.  He had everything and up the stairs knocking!  Grandma Great opened the door and in he went stripping off things, backpack, coat, and shoes.  He then ripped into his lunch box to get his juice box and snack and found a seat at the table and proceeded to eat his snack.  It was 9am!  It was go time! He'd been waiting for DAYS folks, there was no more waiting.  Thankfully she had more snacks for him!

He was a good boy for her and played well with Grandma Great!

I love the memories he's making! 

If truth be told though I think Grandma Great was as excited as Eli was! 

Forgivness and Grace???


**I preface this posts and ALL  my posts with, there are 2 sides to every story, mine is probably not well rounded and skewed by what I remember( or the lack of what I remember)...my side of it.  I am probably not right nor am I probably wrong...I think there is a middle to all of this, just not yet found???  I also may not be ready to hear the other side, nor the other half ready to hear my side...and that is alright too-well at least I'm trying really hard to work on that and have it be alright.  It may also be a mute point and people have dealt with their feelings about things  and moved on and don't want to go back and deal with things...it's no longer important and have made their peace...and that is ok too.  This is about me and me processing things, writing it out, talking it out, sounding it out, coming to a conclusion or not, finding where I'm wrong or finding something out about myself that I didn't know.**

I don't know where to begin...like always.  Things always crop up and I'm whipped right back to that memory and feeling.

This time, though it was a FB a friend of mine shared about how it might be time to back off on the college care packages to her son.  It's his first year at college and she's been sending packages...a lot...and quite a bit in them as I understand.  Anyway, I said well at least he knows he's loved...right? Because it could be like when I went to college.  When I went to college it started with me packing up my WHOLE room and putting it in the garage and taking what I could to school.  We got me to my room and all my stuff and said our good byes and such and then my parents gave me $50...for what I can't remember...they may have told me.

What I wrote to my friend was, at least he knew he was loved. That it could have been my experience...where I was given $50 and no one called or checked up on me until around the time for Thanksgiving Break...then I found out, much to my shock, that I was to find my own way home and I also must find my own way back.  My parents were not going to come and get me...I totally thought every one's parents came and got them or they at least had a vehicle or something to get them home.  Then after getting home from Turkey Break I didn't hear from them until Christmas break...nothing. I was left on my own. Then if  I wanted to come home for Christmas break I had to find my own way...cause a Freshman in a dorm room has any other choice to stay??? Yeah...I believe I paid my way to a greyhound ride...and begged for a ride back home, but that's a whole other story.

These thoughts as I was talking to Frank brought up a lot of feelings I'd thought I'd forgotten or ...I don't know what....stuff I guess.

And it's not just the past I need work on, it's the current and not so far in the past and really the future I need help with and a continuing heart for forgiveness. And to do better and be better and show better? I'm not better than anyone but I can certainly break the cycles and do better because I know better?  At the very least do better by my kids...right?  It's OK to try and do that and be that...I hope.  Because I don't wish on my kids much of what I experienced as a child/toddler and a teenager/young adult.

What does Forgiveness mean?

--Forgive: a. to give up resentment of or claim to requital for
                 b. to grant relief from payment of
                 c. to cease to feel resentment against

Two things I know, but I don't think I'm very good about, is that God forgives us as far as the east is to the west and forgets about It, wipes the slate clean so to speak.  The second thing is that to forgive to is a step by step, moment by moment, second to second thing...you don't just forgive and it's gone.  Is that part of our human nature? We are always in a constant state of forgiveness...we are not God or Jesus...we are human with failures.  Just when I think I'm getting somewhere I have moments where I wonder.

So many things done as a child, and as a teenager.  Many things still upset me...who makes their kid pay for all their graduation things? Who does that??  OK, well except for graduation pictures that I didn't want.  I wanted professional but all I was offered was the only thing I was gonna get...so took it I did.  Do I like them...NOPE! They are not something I look fondly on and that makes me sad because it's not something I can get back. HOWEVER, it's something I can make sure doesn't happen with my children. I can make a different choice!!!  How can I still be upset about this 16 years later!?!  As for the things as a child...it is so much easier to say/think you've forgiven if it's out of site and mind...I often wonder if I have actually forgiven the atrocities from my childhood.

Probably because this type of caring or what have you continues to this day...I guess.  Does that mean we are in a constant state of forgiving? Does it ever get easier?

Which brings me to my next quandary...where does Grace fit into all this?

--Grace: a. unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification
              b. a virtue coming from God
              c. a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

What the heck are we suppose to do with that!?!  How do I show these people and all the different situations Grace?  I know the meaning of my name and this word simply define my life and I am to learn something through out my life about this word and how I define it.  My name...Anita Grace...means Grace Gracefully...

I whole heartily believe this word and what it means and what God calls us to do with grace defines my life...in a constant state of learning this lesson...whether I'm doing it well or not remains to be seen...however if I had to guess I think I'm failing...lol thankfully God shows us grace and understanding...and a whole lot of patience!  Thank heavens for his patience!!!

I also need to understand in my heart that it's OK to want to do better and be better than what was shown to me. 

I also need to write this down, get it out and to move on.  I need to move on...I have DONE better, I am better, I know better, and my boys will KNOW w/o a doubt in their mind that I love them unconditionally even though I don't agree/like/understand/or what they did is outright wrong and unlawful...I will LOVE them!!

I do believe God has given me a job with my boys...to raise them different than I was...by both sets of adults in my life, to raise Godly men and men who don't hurt their wives and children, to break the cycle of so many things in my families...to raise them better than a lot of the examples of men I've had in my life. To make sure they know they are loved...there is such a thing as unconditional love (at least in my world there is, how can there not be???)  This is so rudimentary, my thoughts, feelings and getting this down  and not quite what is in my heart, but those who count in my life know my heart and where I'm coming from...and know what I mean.  And God knows what I'm trying to say.
As I'm typing this I'm talking to a friend and she has given me a new line to use and practice using...

"I've dealt with this, go away!"
So practice I will and I will continue to write out my thoughts, much like this, and then say...I have dealt with this, go away!  To also stay in the moment and practice forgiveness and grace...I do believe they go hand in hand...that you can't do one with out the other.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Shot Fired

Look at me!!! 

I know this isn't a 'real' gun, but it can still do some damage.  This is the first time I have ever shot something in my life!  Well except for a sling shot...and if you've never shot one of those...well it's a lot of fun!!
I had a good time and its fun, I will be shooting it again.  Well as long as Ian lets me that is!

Did I get the target?  It's so far away I can't even see it with my glasses on!

Look at me branching out people!  Yeah me!!!

Paulson Bunnies

So I know I'm super late and all on this post, but we'll have to just go with it.  I think I got some good pictures of my bunnies...I mean boys!

The Easter Bunny however did manage to make a stop at the Paulson household, so in case you guys were sweating it, you can stop.  HA!

 The Easter Bunny left Lee this movie and all sorts of candy, tic tacs, and chocolate bunny and a Lego guys.
 Dru was so excited he got this one...they have been wanting to see it really bad!
 The Bunny must have like Ian too :)
 Eli was ecstatic to get this movie...and I would just like to say that this movie was REALLY cute!  That I LOVE with all my heart that this whole family can sit and laugh hysterically at this movie...my 10 year old laughs so hard he can't catch his breath.  That my husband can still chuckle at things. 
 The hit however in the baskets, was their own box of tic tacs and for Eli the Chocolate filled Cadbury Egg...and might I add that those are, well um...really good!!!
 On our way to church and my boys dress up nice if I don't say so myself!  Ian had a big day that today because he helped out at church with 2 other kids.

Isn't Ian so handsome?  Some girl is going to be so lucky.
 Big boys...and almost too cool for pictures by their mother...or so they would have you believe
 Here is my little heart breaker!  Awww Man!
 Pretty sure I will be beating little girls back from door before too long...he's the one I worry about.  He is my big hearted/tender hearted child. 
 Dru...he's a charmer and a gentleman, that's for sure!  Keep your eye on this one!
 The little boys...although Dru will tell you he's not, and Eli calls the 3 big ones his 'boys', which is funny to hear him say.
 All of them together, I am blessed and I know that God entrusted them to me to raise men of God and respectable men of society and men who have morals.  No small feat that's for sure...daily struggle and I can only pray that I'm not screwing it up...because I'm pretty sure I am!!