Saturday, March 3, 2012

Mothering Opinion Poll

Alright Moms...well Dad's too...although I'm pretty sure just moms/women read my blog. 

Anyway, today something happened that took me for a loop!  It all started Friday afternoon after the big kids got home. Lee got a call from a friend in his class (actually what's amusing is listening to two 8 year olds planning something) to play.  Well, Lee made plans with out talking to me first, all in the flash of a second.  This planning all happened on the phone and after Lee got off the phone I explained to him that next time he couldn't do that.  He had to check with his dad or myself before he made plans, because what if we had plans that day?  He offered to have us come get his friend and I said how do you know I had a car for tomorrow??  You have to ask first!!!  He said OK.  Time will tell.

So today we went to get his friend who isn't far from my house and when we got there Lee and I got out and went up to the apartment building he lived in.  Well before we even got to the stairs his friend came out and was ready to go.  I said no I wanted to go up to his apartment and meet his dad (I forgot to tell you the only time I've 'met' his mother was at parent/teacher conference almost 6 months ago!).  So I went upstairs and knocked on the door.  I'm almost sure he heard me but didn't want to come to the door, so I finally asked Lee's friend to go in and ask his dad to come to the door.  His friend just said oh go ahead and walk in there.  To which I really tried to not freak out and I said no I'd feel better if he just came up and went in and asked his dad to meet me at the door.  So he went in and told his dad and I could hear by the tone in his voice he was NOT impressed about this at all.  But he came anyway and shook my hand and sorta introduced himself and I introduced myself.  We made really small talk and then we said goodbye and off we went.  I walked away immediately thinking my child will not go there for a few hours but his friend is more than welcome to come to our house. 

Here's my issue and Frank is on the opposite side of this discussion as I understand it (yes, I'm totally leaving myself room to backtrack if I'm wrong...).  Would any of you have just sent your kid out to wait for someone you'd never met, for them to take your kid back to their house?  Frank said (and tell me if I'm wrong Frank) if it had been arranged for him to pick the child up that he would do it that way.  I won't mince words it kinda freaked me out the whole situation.  Who just lets their kid go with someone they've never met, just like that?  Not going out of their way to meet you and make sure you give good vibes?  I mean if I did that and the whole situation didn't feel right, there's no way in HELL I'd let my kid go anywhere!!!  Not one more inch!  

To me it's like (if you have this sort of thing to relate to) letting you daughter out of the house to go on a date with a man you've never met.  Letting him honk the horn at his arrival and letting your daughter walk right out the door saying I'll see you at midnight!  HELL NO!!! Not in this lifetime! 

Does anyone not watch the news anymore?  For Pete's sakes, earlier this week the kids had a note sent home letting us know about a child at her stop having some man approach her in a truck asking if she was OK!  It happened, I'm 99% sure, on our bus route!! HELLO!?!  That would be the second time in 4 years that something like this has happened on their bus stop!!  I might be WAY to protective but honestly let's look at the creepy, pervert man that I know that is somewhere out there in the shadows...waiting...biding his time...time...it's not on my side I don't think.  I'm not sure in this kind of situation that I can be too careful or too trusting of people! 

I don't know...so I ask you guys.  What do you think?  Am I being too weird? What would you have done differently? 
On a side note I did ask Frank to not let some person he's never met to take our children like that, arranged or not.  I'm still a tad weirded out by this whole situation to be honest with you. I knew that things like this would come up  but of course it still caught me off guard in a big way!

2 comments:

  1. That same sort of think happened to my Jesse, who's now 18. They lived in the Chinook Park apt.
    I rarely ever saw his Mom and his Dad didn't live there. I never let Jesse go to his house. Then he started riding his bike to our house unannounced. We live on the street north of MacFarlane Park. I'd call but not get an answer most times. I'd let them play and then drive him home. I only let Jesse ride his bike in front of our house without us. His Mom worked and his older brothers didn't care what he did.
    YES! There are parents out there that don't really care like we do. None of my 5 kids ever went out without me knowing the parents. Their child came over here to play. It's even scary letting your daughters go to prom with a guy when you don't know how they drive. It doesn't get better...but your child tells you more as long as you keep the communication up. But stick to your guns Anita and just maybe your parenting will rub off on someone. And yes throughout raising my 5 I did meet quite a few parents who were just like that. Keep telling Lee that the parents need to make the arrangements. :) Julie Kieft

    ReplyDelete
  2. I probably would have let the kid come without making a big deal over it, but having said that , I would have been very uncomfortable and mine would never have gone to their house without me knowing. I think I had a few times it happened but mostly it was our Church family or our neighborhood. My kids never stayed with neighborhood kids but they were at our house all the time(my girls) my son is 12 years younger and I was probably more lineant but I still had to know where he was and he was usually with just one buddy he was always with. amd he didn't spend the night there either. People who have an "only" I feel sorry for because the girls looked out after each other, Daniel was on his own. my daughter was VERY stritched with Caroline. When Caroline was here a couple of weeks ago I asked her what was the best thing agout college and she said "I don't have to get permission from my parents" LOLOLOL and she ADORES her parents, but they were a tad over the top.

    ReplyDelete