Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Query or Queries



What to post...what to post...

As the year has worn on and school is now out and I've had my end of the school year party it has been interesting as an observer.

What I watched at my little party was the kids trying to figure out where they fit in with each other.  There is a core group of kids that were all born in the same year, 3 boys and 1 girl.  The last year or two they all got along fantastic.  This year there was something interesting going on.  I don't know if they were more aware of the fact of boy/girl?  Or just figuring out pecking order so to speak.  But I have watched this a lot with Ian and Eli in the group of cousins at family gatherings.  Eli is the youngest by 2 year and in some ways that's a big gap.  As for Ian he's the eldest boy and the next is then his brother Lee.  So I don't expect there to be a lot of playing together when his older girl cousins are around. The tend to gravitate to each other.  However, what is interesting is watching how Ian tries to figure his place with all the boys when the girls aren't there.  There is always a time when age seems to play a huge role in the relationship with people.  I remember it well as a kid...not being so much younger than my oldest cousins but young enough that I didn't quite know how to fit in and  I was young enough to be bothersome also.  For instance, it is not always the joy of a 15 year old to be 'stuck' with a 12 year old...they manage mind you and have fun in the end, but that age I do think the gap has a lot to do with it.  And it's the life of a kid, I expect it.  Then at other times the age doesn't seem to be an issue.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

What I have been wondering upon further reflection though, is does this hold true to say adult siblings and their spouses.  Are there times in the relationships (take out other factors like lifestyle and all that)when the gap is too much, age wise, that everyone tries to figure out where they 'fit', so to speak.  I must tread lightly here...there are times that I wonder why there is a lack of involvement in the relationship because of age, why we are not invited to join in things.  Is it because we are 5-6 years older than the youngest of them?  Because that seems like a lot to me (outside of the fact we are different people, it just seems there should be more of relationship and the last few years it hasn't been there???), maybe for an indefinite time, this age gap is huge...where as at some point it will all level out and age won't be an issue?? 

I don't know...I guess I thought there were some things that would just be kid things and growing into adults you'd grow out of it?

Or maybe I have it all wrong and it's just that we are very, very different people and we just don't have much in common but at the same time enough in common to limp along? 

I don't know.  Just something I've been wondering.  Probably a lot of rambling.  When it comes down to it, we are all people and very different and to expect everyone to get along is silly and to always invite everyone to an event is just as silly.  When it comes right down to it, feeling left out of things makes you feel like a kid all over again, which is silly.

Wondering why as siblings, 2 of them plan things with each other's families and don't at least extend the invite to the other sibling and that family.  That's why I'm wondering if the age is not level...lol we are old and boring...which is why I wonder if lifestyles come into play.  Maybe it's all connected...maybe it's me (I am certainly not the first person they think of when they think FUN! ha! I'm no fun you know...or so I've been told)

This isn't meant to be a pity party but really just pondering life and the way it works.  Family is ever evolving and family certainly doesn't work the way I had ever imagined it to work.  Maybe there isn't a right or wrong way for family to work, but maybe what works best for majority?

Ok I'll quit blathering and go to bed now.  Had to get that off  my chest and see if it made more sense written down. 

In case you were wondering it didn't...LOL!

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