Sunday, November 29, 2009
Anyway, all that to say, the meaning of family is important to me and for as much as it's important to me I struggle with all that it means and the components that make up a family. CONSTANT struggle. So when moments like these come, and not every family is as privilege as my boys are, I take a picture of them. Frank is probably one of the few people I know of that had a great grandma in his 30's...which meant my kids had a great great Grandma...really blows my mind!
I miss my Grandpa that passed away 2 years ago...where did the time go? I have no other Grandpas. My children are blessed with 2 sets of Grandparents and a set of Great Grandparents...and these Greats love my boys with all their hearts and they love them back as much!
We have Great Grandpa ( do not be fooled by the wheel chair! It's only holding him back for awhile...until he can start walking around on his foot. He is NOT happy about the wheel chair!), Grandpa, Frank, Ian, Lee, Dru, and Eli
Saturday, November 28, 2009
This is Eli eating his cake...its long but funny!
Friday, November 27, 2009
I still wish I could have had this party somewhere else. Kids and adults alike wrestled in my tiny house and I again had to yell at my children to stop wrestling. My house is to tiny and there are to many people in my house for people to do that. And I really can't figure out why people keep doing this? It's beyond me. Anyway, the party is over and things have moved on...I was just very mortified that I had to yell to be heard above the noise...anyway...Eli got some good things and we all came to celebrate him.
The best part was watching that kid eat his cake...it was something to watch! That post is next. So stay tuned.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
My stomach is churning about tomorrow...the tears are hardly being kept at bay....I don't know if I can do this...all I see are endings...no more first holidays, no more taking first steps, first tooth, first smile, first anythings....all those have ended with more things in the future ending...he'll be 2 eventually, when he weans himself (I might come close to dying when that happens), when it becomes apparent it's time for him to leave my bed...
Is it really ever going to hit me that we are all done? There will be no more babies? We are done? This is so hard...so permanent (I know its too late for these things but I've never stopped feeling them). Really? No more babies? My heart is pounding! I can't catch my breath...must...stop...and...breath....in....out...in...out... Will I ever be OK that we are all done? Will it ever soften? Will it get easier?
I know our whole family is here...I feel we are complete...no one is missing...content. Why do I feel this way? Because the decision has been made that's why...I think...I think. Such finality. No going back, committed to a decision.
I don't know if I can do tomorrow...it's his party. People are coming...a party to be had. I don't want to. If we don't have the party he won't turn 1...denial. Trying so hard to put my brave face on, maybe tomorrow will fare better with that. How do I get through this? It will happen, I will just go into robot mode.
Drown myself in chocolate cake tomorrow and maybe a drink or several.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Hope everyone stays dry and doesn't get blown away tonight!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The summer went on and one day I had duty in the kitchen at the sink where the dishes the cooks used got cleaned first before they got washed. And in that hole in the kitchen I met this guy that scared the pee right out of me (remember I was still the shy and SO unworldly person that we all know me to be). This guys name was John and he was HUGE and obnoxious (OK only the last part the more I got to know him). Anyway, after being tortured by this guy (he tried to get my dander up and make me blush in all sorts of ways, cause I was/am a prude, which gave him ample ammunition). On one of those days he told me I should ask this guy out, this guy named Frank. He knew that this guy liked me and told me I should ask him cause this guy would never ask me out cause he was too shy.
After much conversation with my best girl and with this guy John(why I was taking advice from this guy I don't know...still don't know) I decided I would ask him...this guy Frank on a date. It took awhile and before long I finally got the gumption up to ask him. It took me ALL day to ask him. When I say all day I mean ALL day. He kept coming back to the hole I was working in and I'd ask him about Nintendo games and whatever but would never go any further. I couldn't get out of my mouth, would you like to go out on a date with me? Oh it was embarrassing (cause Frank KNEW what I was stumbling all over myself to do, ask him out...he was helpful even then). FINALLY I manged to get out do you want to play some video games together at your place. (We still enjoy playing video games with each other and on occasion I have been known to kick his butt, not often though) He said that sounded good to him. That took a lot for me to go out on a limb like that and put myself out there, and then to NOT be rejected! Oh what a feeling! So that afternoon we went to his house and played some video games before our next shift. As we were playing he asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I said sure that sounded like fun. So later that night we saw Saving Private Ryan...and it was DUTCH! I'm so glad I brought money with me...he asked I assumed he was paying...SO wrong! And really was that an appropriate first date movie? Oh well.
Well after that date that's really been it...the story is still being written. We had so much fun that summer and beginning of school that year. Trip to Leavenworth spending all day walking around looking in the stores and then spending hours looking for the movie theater they SAID was there. It wasn't until years later that we found it. The keggers his roommates would have and then Frank sending me and another one of my friends home 'cause the cops had been called (we were under age! I know what you are thinking but we all have some growing to do at some point, right?) Mom, if you are reading this just breath... We walked all over Ellensburg for months talking and getting to know each other. The first dinner I made for him, lasagna and then after dinner I promptly dropped it on the floor and broke the dish and ruined the rest of dinner...was SO embarrassed! First camping trip meeting his family..., being slowly tortured with football...11 years later I am actually kinda into it...not like all of them though. I like the Huskies and Seahawks...that's about it. All the time spent hanging out with Frank...I miss our walks. Tom Petty concert, trips to Yaki-vegas to do what I can't even remember anymore. Our first Christmas together...I was house sitting and he came back to E-burg as soon as he could. When we worked in the dish room together and we would quietly flirt...he was always bringing me presents...aka basket loads of silverware. When it was lunch time, sitting next to each other...felt like high school all over again. People teasing us...two shy people trying to figure out this whole dating thing. OK well mostly me cause Frank was my first boyfriend and I was not his first girlfriend. The night we walked home from the other side of town while horribly intoxicated (being drunk gives you all kinds of courage) and while walking telling him we were going to be girlfriend and boyfriend because I was tired of not knowing what I was...after months of dating...we were FINALLY we were exclusive! So many more moments in time...
Monday, November 16, 2009
Any idea what happens this week on that day? Any thoughts? Well i will let you know. That's Eli's birthday, he will be 1! This is upsetting!! I thought I had one more week to prepare for this! Wanna know how I found out I only have days before Eli's birthday and party? I thought you might...so here we go.
I called one of my sister in laws today and was talking to her about some things and then i asked her if she got my message about Eli's party. she said she had and that it was this Saturday and I said no it's next Saturday. She said well aren't you having it on his birthday? I said well yeah! (I'm thinking duh!?!) She said Anita, that's this Saturday. CRAP! Is all that's going through my mind!! Guess what's next week...Thanksgiving! WHO KNEW!?! Anyway, I have been telling all sorts of people that next week Eli was going to turn one...not this week! I have to be the goofiest mom ever...I don't know what kid I have with me half the time nor do I know when I gave birth to them.
I have a house that is a P-I-T to clean and a cake to order and decorations if I can swing it!!! What the heck! And as my mother so lovingly pointed out to me (I mentioned this in a previous blog post about boycotting) I can't very well boycott a birthday party I'm throwing at my house....do you know how disappointing that is?
Well there's another one of my moments...I am a little upset the 21st is this week and not next week like I had all planned in my brain thanks to whoever for throwing that curve ball in my plans. Thanks to those of you who didn't inform me of my error... (can you imagine my last minute scramble when someone finally decided they should say something to me cause they didn't want me to totally embarrass myself?)
I think I disturbed Frank a little cause I asked him if he knew about this and he said well yeah (was a common comment when I asked that of other people) and then he looked at me for a bit longer than normal and just shook his head and said jeez.
Just a little creepy side note...Frank was in his batcave doing whatever it is men all over this world do to get away for the noise of children and screaming wives...HA! I know what he was doing, he was back there taking some puffs off a horrible smelling cigar (a cheap one..the pricier ones smell better...guess if we and our stuff has to smell like something it should smell better that cat pee...that's just a personal opinion) and he let the back door open (no different that any other night) and all the sudden a HUGE rat came running into the batcave!!!! Lord love that man but he comes back in and tells me to not go into the garage or to let the children back there cause he just saw the biggest rat run into our garage and headed towards the big garage door. I THINK he was planning to take care of this tomorrow when he got home from work until I looked at him a little panicked and said ALL our food is in there...OK well not all our food but like our cereal and things like that...stuff they can chew through. So he decided that he would take care of it and he did. Frank came back in after 5 minutes and said well the rat is out and he'll never forget the night he tangled with with me! Then he went back and had a few victory puffs stogie...he's so weird...but he said it was the size of a small cat....stupid rain flooding them out of the nasty places they live!!!
OK I think that's good for one night...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Well dinner came and went and it was bedtime and that went fine (I should have known cause they were all quiet all at the same time). I finally am able to lay Eli down in his bed and while I'm doing that Lee wakes up to go potty and so I tap on the door and check to see how he's doing (he's been up off and on coughing). He tells me he's not doing so well and his ear REALLY hurts. So I take his temperature and I couldn't believe it...103.6!!! I just looked at him and said why didn't you come get me and tell me you weren't feeling good!?! I can give you stuff that will make you feel a little bit better! So I give him Motrin and Robitussin and with in secs of giving him that I got to see 'artwork'. He managed to spew all over the bathroom and get just a few drops in the toilet...oh what a long night it was turning out to be...cause on top of ALL that Eli of course woke up. I had to put him on my bed with his dad while I cleaned....YUK!
So I left the medicine bit alone and let Lee go back to bed and hoped his temp. would go down. Well at some point during the spewing and going to bed his ear started draining...again...tinged with blood...again...sigh! So I get Ian off to school and have left a message for the ENT as to what I should do cause by golly he's going to have this surgery on Wed!! He needs this surgery!! So they call back and have us come in and check his ear and actually do something I think sounds like it would feel good. They suctioned out the pus out of his ear...I could see his eyes roll to the back of his head...so they got Lee squared away and when she was done I asked her if she wouldn't mind looking at Eli's ears for giggles since we were there (he'd been a pill for a day or two again after being sick a few days ago...and been tugging at an ear) sure enough he needed meds too. It wasn't bad but enough for me to look at her with those mom eyes and she said you want a prescription for him too?? Yes please! So I got meds for Eli and another prescription for the 'liquid gold'. So that gal goes out and consults with the ENT and they decided that instead of getting an antibiotic at the pharmacy, Lee really needs to get it at the office.....in the butt. I have 2 other children there and they want him to get a shot in the butt.
I was not sure how I was going to do that...and since I had Eli and I tried to sit him down with Dru...yeah...that didn't work so well. So for the first time in my life, one person had to hold Lee down and the other gave the shot...he was very upset with the situation! I felt so bad and for that whole day his butt hurt and I know it did! But the shot worked and by the end of the day he was doing much better! And so was Eli...for 2 days that kid slept for what seemed like all day...I was afraid he was getting his days/nights mixed up!
So here is Eli on Tuesday AFTER he got his double dose of medicine...O-U-T!Lee...his butt still hurt.My two sick fellas...Lee on Wednesday. We had to get up SO early! I of course had stayed up way too late the night before...when will I learn? He has his lovey his Oma made him when he was a baby and he's got Buckey...Buckey used to me mine so he's well loved (I still miss Buckey but don't have the heart to ask for him back...sigh...). We had to be at the hospital at 6:45 AM...oh how our butts were dragging! So we get admitted and get in our hospital issued pj's...a bit drafty we noticed. He was for the most part happy go lucky.All cuddled up with his lovey. Pretty much all the ladies went gaga over it. I guess the ladies down in the OR are quilters and they loved the quilt mom!
Lee and nurse Lynn going over his important info...age...marriage status...history of anemia? You know the important stuff 5 year olds need to answer...We have now been transported to the OR. This tickled Lee cause they moved the whole bed and put it in the elevator!!!! So we are waiting for our turn, a little 16 month old boy went ahead of us...not much younger than when Lee went in for his first set of tubes (this was his 4Th set of tubes).So everything went OK up until it was time for him to get up off the bed and walk into the surgery room. That's when he broke down and started bawling, and as you know I'm the mom and it's never a good idea to break down and cry with your child. Darn it all I WANTED to cry with him!!! I hate that he's had to do this 4 times!!! That's my baby they keep messing with! They had to pick him up and walk him back there as he was crying and yelling for me...worst feeling in the world!
This is me waiting...waiting..waiting..waiting...anytime now...waiting...waiting...some texting...and waiting...and then they came to get me! WHEW!
The more time that goes by the better his ears get. He said to me the next day, 'mom...everything is SO loud!?!' I thought that was funny...his ears were so bad and he really needed the tubes. They will check his hearing when we have his post-op appointment. The hope is he won't have a hearing loss like he's been having. He's had a 25% hearing loss in both ears for a long time...
So that was our big day...he's all better and was bouncing off the walls as we walked into the house coming back home from surgery. Made Frank and I both tired...all we wanted to do was watch movies all day and take care of a child who just had surgery and was going to be 'down' for the day. HA! Joke was on us!
Sorry this was so long but I hope you enjoyed the retelling of our day.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
That was my giggle I thought I'd share for the day, courtesy of Dru.